The Fucking Internets | It’s all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy. – D.H. Lawrence

Fucking Spotify

I have me some serious geek-love for Spotify.
Spotify is one of the damn numerous streaming internets radio things that allow you to stream music from the fucking internets. I’ve tried a few of them in my time, and still use most of them. I’ve my last.fm account, my Slacker Radio account, Pandora and I played with Rdio for a week with their free trial.

Most of them can be sorta free, as long as you’re streaming from the world wide interwebs. The only one of the above that ain’t free on the interwebs is Rdio.

At the moment, of the above, only Pandora and Slacker are free on mobile platforms, and then they’re ad supported. Which is really no big deal. Last.fm used to be free on the mobile, but now you must pay (a reasonable $3.00/month).

Last.fm and Pandora are also available on the TV. Pandora is lumped in with a fuck load of “smart” TV’s, Blue-Ray players and Game Consoles. Last.fm is available on the XBox 360, and with a Gold Account, it’s free (because lord knows you spend enough on the fucking Gold Account).

Most of them have varied pay plans. Usually about $5.00 a month for a “plus” type account, and about $10 a month for a “premium” account.

Rdio is the biggest fail here. Their “plus” account allows you to listen on the web only (not the mobile web). Which all of the others do free already. Their unlimited plan is good, because it gives you about what everyone else gives you for ten bucks, like offline listening, and being able to create your own playlists. But there were a number of tracks (offbeat, admittedly) I could not find, and this was my biggest reason for not going with Rdio.

Slacker does the streaming free on the web and on my mobile. Again, it’s ad supported, and with the freeness comes the ability to skip up to 6 tracks that suck. Plus gives you the ability to skip as many as you want &¬† give you offline listening. And no ads. Premium gives you all that, plus the ability to create playlists, or listen to albums in order. Slacker is a great service, but would be better if I didn’t get so many songs repeat when I listen to streaming radio. It’s like listening to regular radio, and with thousands of songs that can sort of fit into a given genre, it’s sorta shit.

Last.fm has a great service, complete with social network. It’s the best of the freebies, and the cheap upgrade to streaming gives it some nice stuff there. Sadly, there is no ability to create playlists from millions of tracks, but who cares? It’s cheap, and the song selection while streaming is damn fucking good. A bonus/drawback is the ability to tag tracks (as part of the social network thing). I can enter the word “fucking” into the player (as a tag, rather than an artist) and get a station that plays songs that people have tagged “fucking”. I just did that, and I hear Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side”, followed by ENslaved by Owls “The Tall Man’s Daughter (which is some elctronica I’ve never heard before… ) I will skip…and get “M.F.B.W.” by Bleed to This, which is some sort of hardcore called “Drunken Sonic Thrash”. Which I like, so I click love and the fucking internets will see that I not only listened to the track, but that I Loved it. Again, this no longer streams on mobile devices though unless you wants to pay. The Social Network they support is also really robust and focused solely on music, so it’s not like you need to add this to your daily “I should check…” list.

There’s not enough bad shit¬† I can say about Pandora. I am lonely in this Pandora loving world. Pandora allegedly sorts music by some sort of magic genome tracking thing. I suppose this works if you don’t like weird shit like I do. If I ask for Mission of Burma, it plays Mission of Burma, followed by Aerosmith, because apparently I like “electric guitars and repetitive grooves” or whatever. If I’m listening to Mission of Burma, I do not want to hear Aerosmith. Or the Fresh Prince, or whatever. No. Maybe it works for people who listen to stuff you can find in Wal-Mart. Just not for me.

Spotify seems to be the King and Queen of the Living-In-The-Future-Holy-Fuck-Streaming-Fucking-Radio. Spotify allows you to choose any song in their library to listen to, add to playlists etc. For free. On your computer. If you give them $5.00, you can hear it without ads. For $10, you not only get no ads, but you can do it on your phone. It also syncs with your computer’s music thing (iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc) and gets your playlists and “local” files (which includes local files on your mobile like podcasts etc.) and makes them available. It can sync music to your phone for offline listening and has a damn streamlined social network which allows you to share music, playlists and shit with your friends. You can subscribe to playlists of other folks with similar music tastes (or un-similar), and they can subscribe to your playslists. You can easily share links to tracks and playlists on the Facebook or on the Twitter.

So, there you have it. Streaming Fucking Internets We Live In The Future Radio and why I think Spotify fucking owns/pwns whatever you kids say now.

Comments welcome below. What are you streaming?

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