The Fucking Internets | Well, you know, like, I don’t really give a fuck what the general public think. – Sid Vicious

Fucking Facebook Games

I’ve been unemployed for a couple of months now.

It’s been stressful, and nice. Looking for a job is shitty, but having time to write has been nice. But all of the extra time has enabled me to easily get distracted by facebook.

Damn you, facebook.

I used to be one of those people who never went onto the social network. All my status updates were via twitter. People used to ask me, “Did you see that shit on facebook?” and I could proudly say, “Fuck no. Facebook is for people with nothing better to do.”

It started with that fucking Words with Friends. And I sort of liked that one. It’s like Scrabble. But in order to play┬ácompetitively, I need to spend more than a minute looking for the best possible words. I don’t want to take a minute to do that. I have things to do. And I was playing with a bunch of people. Too many minutes.

Then the Bubble Monkey game. You know the one. Safari Ass Monkey Bubble or something. That one I could play alone. But Zynga, in their need to make money to cover their ridiculous IPO, makes it so that you can only play 5 rounds before you run out of “Energy”. You can buy more energy, or wait until it builds back up. Or you can buy it. I know I said that, but they seem to push you buying it. I’m not spending money on fucking bubble monkeys.

Or on building a Kingdom in CastleVille. Which is Zynga’s answer to Dungeons and Dragons. Only lamer. Because in order to get anything done, you need to either wait a long time to find what you need (using energy that again, you can wait or pay for) or beg your friends to send you the stuff you need. Again, no money from me for this shit. So, I keep going back and waiting for friends to send me shit so that I can get further into the game and need even more stuff.

 

Song Pop came next. And I like Song Pop more than any of the rest of them. Song Pop doesn’t require money except for power-ups, or to buy new playlists ahead of time. It’s like Name That Tune, and of them all, it’s the most fun and least frustrating. When I decide I may play something, it may well be Song Pop. But in order to play it, I need to turn off whatever I may have been listening to, and like Words, my friends play on their phones and tablets, so as soon as I think I’m out, they pull me back in. I don’t want to be that far on the ball. I have shit to do.

So, until I run out of things to do in real life, which I hope won’t happen for a while, I’m done with this social gaming shit. And this is in no way a dig at the rest of you who play. You enjoy it, that’s great. I wouldn’t have tried it if you guys weren’t having fun. Maybe you have more free time, or a boring job, or money to spend on getting energy and shit. Maybe your shit is just more together, and since I’m a slacker and underachiever, I just see it as something I can do instead of doing what I need to do.

Like write shitty blog posts about it.

 

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