The Fucking Internets | Half of life is fucking up the other half is dealing with it. – Henry Rollins

Apple Should Stop Fucking Apologizing

From Apple CEO Tim Cook:

To our customers,

At Apple, we strive to make world-class products that deliver the best experience possible to our customers. With the launch of our new Maps last week, we fell short on this commitment. We are extremely sorry for the frustration this has caused our customers and we are doing everything we can to make Maps better.

What. The. Fuck.

Steve Jobs never, ever would have apologized. Never, ever. Steve Jobs would have told you that your bitching of the iOS Maps App meant that you didn’t fucking get it and he would have told you if you didn’t appreciate some good shit, go get a porn phone and jack off instead of being part of something bigger and better.

Okay, in theory, I have no problem with a CEO or Corporate Personage apologizing for sending out a shoddy project or app. Ordinarily, I would applaud such a move. But the reason I feel that Apple shouldn’t apologize for anything is because by apologizing, they are making their highly devoted fan base look like schmucks.

On the Not the Show podcast that I host with @ohjoey (who is one of the world’s biggest Apple fans – I shit you not… this is his tattoo on the right), we discussed the release of Apple Phone 5 and I immediately attempted to destroy his good opinion of Apple by pointing out the flaws in their Maps App. And he just shook his head sadly and explained to me why the world was wrong, and how things work and how haters just be hating. Okay, it was a bit more detailed than that, but the point is, without apologizing, Joe made me think about the app in a way where it made sense and was nothing Apple should have to apologize for.

I’m not even saying he was right.

What I am saying is that his conviction and faith in Apple is such that while he will admit that the product may not be perfect at this time, that it’s a work in progress like any good app, and that perfection will be realized in good time. He pointed out that maybe they should have slapped a beta label on it, like google does for everything (and keeps on for years), but that Apple doesn’t necessarily want to do the Beta route. He made me eat my words (sort of, it’s not like I was really laying into him or Apple) and I almost felt the need to apologize for attacking Apple.

By apologizing, Tim Cook has made it possible for me and all of the other FOAF (Friends of Apple Fans) folk out there, turn back to our good buddys and say, “Hah! I was right! Apple released a shit product! No matter what you say, Tim Cook is on my side!”

Apple has such a devoted fan base that an apology for such a small issue is pointless. Apple fans everywhere have already explained to their friends what and why Apple has done something, like they do every time Apple does something that the rest of us feel tempted to call bullshit on. Apple fans are Apple’s strongest selling point. Why weaken their stand?

Tim Cook has embarrassed my good friend Joe. And that’s what he should apologize for. The phone has been out for a week. I last saw a Maps app blasting article four days ago. Why apologize now? Why do you shame my friends? Why do you make Steve Jobs rattle the Ouija App in anger? Stand your ground, tell the haters they be hating, and go ahead and refine your app and don’t make a fucking CEO official suggestion that customers should go and download Google maps. Because now you look fucking stupid. Never do that unless you mean to shame them with their choice. Like Jobs did when he told us to go get our porn from Android.

Rant done.

(Sent from my iMac and my Android phone)

 

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