The Fucking Internets | It’s all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy. – D.H. Lawrence

Fucking Facebook

I dropped a valued friend from Facebook last night.

It kind of hurts, because again, this is a valued friend. An old friend. Someone I’ve known for years, through all sorts of shit. But, aside from the occasional comment on my ‘happy status posts’, like “Good luck!”, the only time I see this friend is when he’s regurgitating what he hears on Fox News or from whatever conservative website he’s reading currently.

I used to comment, but that would usually lead to a whole mess of his like-minded friends jumping in and not saying anything to support his statement, just nay-say anyone who held a differing point. It’s fine to have differing points of view. I encourage it, in fact. But when your standard reply is to use the standard pop-conservative buzzwords and phrases, and insist that anyone not well versed in them is a fucking moron, it leads me to believe that you don’t have a different point of view, just someone else’s different point of view. Once when I asked where he was getting his information, I was basically told by he and his group that he didn’t need to present his sources of information, and that I should educate myself on the matter.

I’m plenty educated. Just want to know where you got your learnin’.

The last time I commented, was when he was bitching about people protesting something I had heard him protest about. But these people were protesting for the wrong reasons. I commented that the only time he seemed to use the facebook was when he had something to bitch about.

Oops.

Anyone who follows my twitter account knows I bitch plenty and often. If you don’t know that my favorite word is any word that uses some variation of the verb “fuck”, you don’t know me. He ranted about how all I do is bitch and moan and curse on the twitter, and here I am accusing him of ‘bitching’. He pointed out that I use foul language far too often and that children are following me on the facebook.

I am a bad person.

I wanted to argue back. I had arguments. All of my tweets are not “bitching” (though they are usually boring). I wanted to argue that any responsible parent should know what their child is doing on the fucking internets. If your child is following or friending me, you should know. Odds are that you are too, which is probably how your kids know me. If you don’t know me, you should be wondering “Who the fuck is this old guy my kid is friends with on the facebook or twitter?” and you should be looking at my posts/tweets. If you disapprove, you should be telling your kids “I don’t like that motherfucker’s shitty language, or the way he complains about his fucking sweaty balls!” and forcing them to drop me.

Note: If I am friends with your kid on facebook and you don’t know me, your kid is probably friends with my daughter and friended me up.

So, if you’re worried about what your ten-year-old is seeing me say on the fucking facebook or twitter? Tell them to drop me. I really won’t be offended. And I won’t mind not seeing what facebook applications they’re scoring on, or how much they love sparkly vampires, emo bands and fucking puppies.

And if you’re very worried about what sort of shit your kid is seeing and hearing, what the hell is your ten-year-old doing on facebook anyway?

Yes, my daughter had a facebook account early, too. And I scour her friends list fucking constantly.

The last “incident” (my last comment on his post was that I would never comment again, which I stuck to) had me sitting in dumbstruck sadness at how much he seems to have lost his mind to Glenn Beck. And I spent over half an hour thinking of ways to comment or question his view that would not seem like I was “attacking” him. and i realized that the only way not to come off as seeming like I was attacking him, or getting jumped by a bunch of his friends (who have a very negative opinion of me, methinks), would be to agree or ignore. I couldn’t agree, and I couldn’t ignore.

So, despite my reservations about doing this to someone I still consider a valued friend, I protected my inner-child and dropped him.

I hope this doesn’t upset him. When our mutual friend did the same thing, over a similar issue, I heard the giggling over how she had “un-friended” him, as if it was like the slamming down of a phone or making an attempt to somehow bother him. It wasn’t. It was just that she didn’t want to read the unsupported rantings of someone who doesn’t use facebook for anything else. It was her way of protecting the way she felt about him, and she was hoping that he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. Which he did.

But facebook ain’t the real fucking world. Because I unfriend you, doesn’t mean I’m no longer your friend. It just means that I’d rather communicate in real-time, and spare you from seeing my constant usage of the word “fuck”.

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