The Fucking Internets | It’s all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy. – D.H. Lawrence

facespace+

My latest web project is live on the fucking internets.  It’s called facespaceplus.com.

What is it? Here, from the WTF? page on the site:

FaceSpace+?

It’s the anti-social network.

Are you sick of interacting on Social Media websites?

Tired of clicking “Like”?

Wishing you didn’t feel obligated to comment when someone is having a bad day, a good day, or a ‘meh’ day?

Then FaceSpace+ is for you.

There’s no need to sign up, because you can’t get an account. Any why would you want one? Let’s face it, the best thing about the other social media sites is watching the train wreck of everyone’s lives as they try to interact with people whose lives are just as equally screwed up.

So sit back and relax, and enjoy the snark, the insults and the occasional kitty picture while knowing that even if you want to comment, you can’t.

Yeah. I have problems. Regardless, go and check it out. We have a new game (that doesn’t, and likely never will work) called MethVille! And we have some imaginary people being douchebags to one another.

It’s still in it’s infancy. New status updates will be posted and abused daily, and I’m hoping that once all the back end work is finished, it’ll just get funnier.

Go see.

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Fucking iMac

Dear Bill Gates,

I am sorry. I needed a new computer and decided to spend almost three times what I could have bought a decent PC for, and picked up an Apple iMac. Please take comfort in the knowledge that I still have an Xbox 360 and an Android phone. I know the Android thing ain’t you, but it’s not an iPhone, right?

Love,

Me

So I’m seriously, you guys. I did buy an iMac. I know that some people will cry sheep. Well, they can go fuck themselves.

I did. I needed a new computer in the worst way. I was using a laptop as my primary machine. Something I hadn’t intended for it when I bought it years ago. The battery is dead so it has to stay plugged in (yes, so does the iMac), and I’m trying to share it with my sixteen-year-old daughter (who does have an iPhone, so it’s not like she needs to use my laptop.

Really, the biggest reason i needed a new, desktop based computer, has everything to do with trying to get some work done. I find writing to be tiresome on the laptop, the screen was too small, and the keyboard is just there with no way of moving or adjusting it. It also makes me frustrated when I’m trying to work on the fucking internets. I’m seriously, guys. Hurts my brains to try and code or blog or anything on that old laptop.

I poked about at a bunch of Windows options. Also at some barebones stuff that I could have loaded a linux flavor onto. But I kept getting drawn back to the iMac option. And not just because @ohjoey endorses it.

Really the final straw in the poll was plucked when I had to bring my daughter’s phone down to the Apple Store. While we were waiting for the Genius at the Bar, I got to poke around at some stuff and I really liked what I saw.

Also, you can right click now.

I ordered it online. I picked up an i5 2.5 ghz 21.5″ 500gb refurbished (I don’t know what any of that means. It was purty though. But I joke). I went for the refurb because let’s face it, it’s cheaper and these are expensive machines. And it’s not like I’m getting it off of Craigslist or at the pawn shop as a used item. An official refurbished machine from the manufacturer (in this case Apple) carries the same warranty as a new machine, and has been inspected and brought up to snuff by Steve Jobs (or his ghost) himself.

The operating system takes some getting used to, but not much. A few big differences, but the fact that I can’t think of them off of the top of my head makes them small and insignificant. Most of the programs I use have Mac versions, and actually I haven’t found one yet that I couldn’t download and install. And the Appstore is right there on the dock, and you can get a shitload of programs at the click of your mouse.

One of my concerns was streaming music and movies to my Xbox. There’s an App for that! I used Connect 360 and bam! My iMac and Xbox 360 are happily living together in sin. I also downloaded the Pages app, which is a word processor and publishing app that I liked when I played with it on a machine at BestBuy, and it apparently can also export to epublish formats. Which was a major selling point for me.

The keyboard is cute. That’s not a complaint, but it’s not a compliment either. It’s bluetooth wireless, so it’s great for moving around on the desk (or even to my bed if I wanted), but it’s on the small side. I seem to be adapting well, but since I don’t touch type for reals (I use three or four fingers that know where all the keys are) it’s not too bad, and since it’s about the same size as my laptop keyboard my fingers didn’t have to adjust too much.

The mouse is fantastic. It’s called a Magic Mouse. And it really is. You can do all sorts of swipey motions to do things, and while scrolling is backwards as compared to a wheel mouse, I got used to that in about three seconds. It really is more intuitive, and you can set it up so that you can right click.

I also got the touchpad, which is fantastic, but I don’t use it much. I can see where I may use it more down the line, so I don’t see it as a waste.

Of course, I also picked up the Apple Remote. Because I knew this machine was going into my bedroom (quiet and private for working on stuff), I knew that I might want to use it to listen or watch stuff from my bed. So, no brainer there.

Things I thought about doing but changed my mind:

27″ screen. Why? No, seriously. I can see why I might want a TV sized screen. Watching TV and movies on it would be nifty. But as far as working goes, when I played with the larger ones, the extra real estate was more of a distraction than anything. The 21.5″ screen is just dandy. It’s perfectly sized to have two or three windows open and in sight while I’m actively working. I usually have  the browser and a music program open while I write.

Larger Hard Drive. Why? No seriously. Yes, storage is necessary, especially if you do lots of music and TV/movie downloading. But what apple wants to add more storage just seemed a bit pricey. Especially when additional storage is available cheaply in an exterior type form.

Anyway, so far I’m fucking tickled pink with this machine. I recommend it highly for all who really don’t need a Windows machine for things like gaming (and even then, you can always install Windows for a dual boot machine). So thanks @ohjoey (bastard), and thanks to my Mac-head mom (I won’t call you a bastard) for convincing me that this was the way to go.

I went.

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Fucking Spotify

I have me some serious geek-love for Spotify.
Spotify is one of the damn numerous streaming internets radio things that allow you to stream music from the fucking internets. I’ve tried a few of them in my time, and still use most of them. I’ve my last.fm account, my Slacker Radio account, Pandora and I played with Rdio for a week with their free trial.

Most of them can be sorta free, as long as you’re streaming from the world wide interwebs. The only one of the above that ain’t free on the interwebs is Rdio.

At the moment, of the above, only Pandora and Slacker are free on mobile platforms, and then they’re ad supported. Which is really no big deal. Last.fm used to be free on the mobile, but now you must pay (a reasonable $3.00/month).

Last.fm and Pandora are also available on the TV. Pandora is lumped in with a fuck load of “smart” TV’s, Blue-Ray players and Game Consoles. Last.fm is available on the XBox 360, and with a Gold Account, it’s free (because lord knows you spend enough on the fucking Gold Account).

Most of them have varied pay plans. Usually about $5.00 a month for a “plus” type account, and about $10 a month for a “premium” account.

Rdio is the biggest fail here. Their “plus” account allows you to listen on the web only (not the mobile web). Which all of the others do free already. Their unlimited plan is good, because it gives you about what everyone else gives you for ten bucks, like offline listening, and being able to create your own playlists. But there were a number of tracks (offbeat, admittedly) I could not find, and this was my biggest reason for not going with Rdio.

Slacker does the streaming free on the web and on my mobile. Again, it’s ad supported, and with the freeness comes the ability to skip up to 6 tracks that suck. Plus gives you the ability to skip as many as you want &  give you offline listening. And no ads. Premium gives you all that, plus the ability to create playlists, or listen to albums in order. Slacker is a great service, but would be better if I didn’t get so many songs repeat when I listen to streaming radio. It’s like listening to regular radio, and with thousands of songs that can sort of fit into a given genre, it’s sorta shit.

Last.fm has a great service, complete with social network. It’s the best of the freebies, and the cheap upgrade to streaming gives it some nice stuff there. Sadly, there is no ability to create playlists from millions of tracks, but who cares? It’s cheap, and the song selection while streaming is damn fucking good. A bonus/drawback is the ability to tag tracks (as part of the social network thing). I can enter the word “fucking” into the player (as a tag, rather than an artist) and get a station that plays songs that people have tagged “fucking”. I just did that, and I hear Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side”, followed by ENslaved by Owls “The Tall Man’s Daughter (which is some elctronica I’ve never heard before… ) I will skip…and get “M.F.B.W.” by Bleed to This, which is some sort of hardcore called “Drunken Sonic Thrash”. Which I like, so I click love and the fucking internets will see that I not only listened to the track, but that I Loved it. Again, this no longer streams on mobile devices though unless you wants to pay. The Social Network they support is also really robust and focused solely on music, so it’s not like you need to add this to your daily “I should check…” list.

There’s not enough bad shit  I can say about Pandora. I am lonely in this Pandora loving world. Pandora allegedly sorts music by some sort of magic genome tracking thing. I suppose this works if you don’t like weird shit like I do. If I ask for Mission of Burma, it plays Mission of Burma, followed by Aerosmith, because apparently I like “electric guitars and repetitive grooves” or whatever. If I’m listening to Mission of Burma, I do not want to hear Aerosmith. Or the Fresh Prince, or whatever. No. Maybe it works for people who listen to stuff you can find in Wal-Mart. Just not for me.

Spotify seems to be the King and Queen of the Living-In-The-Future-Holy-Fuck-Streaming-Fucking-Radio. Spotify allows you to choose any song in their library to listen to, add to playlists etc. For free. On your computer. If you give them $5.00, you can hear it without ads. For $10, you not only get no ads, but you can do it on your phone. It also syncs with your computer’s music thing (iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc) and gets your playlists and “local” files (which includes local files on your mobile like podcasts etc.) and makes them available. It can sync music to your phone for offline listening and has a damn streamlined social network which allows you to share music, playlists and shit with your friends. You can subscribe to playlists of other folks with similar music tastes (or un-similar), and they can subscribe to your playslists. You can easily share links to tracks and playlists on the Facebook or on the Twitter.

So, there you have it. Streaming Fucking Internets We Live In The Future Radio and why I think Spotify fucking owns/pwns whatever you kids say now.

Comments welcome below. What are you streaming?

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Arrested Westeros

If you’re a fan of Arrested Development and The Game of Thrones, you probably already know about this website. If you’re a fan of one, but not the other, it may have skipped your notice.

If you’re a fan of neither, your life is just fucking sad. I don’t know what to tell you.

It’s screencaps of HBO’s Game of Thrones (based on the Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. Martin), with dialogue supplied by Fox’s so-brilliant-we-had-to-cancel-it Arrested Development.

These things mash up so well it’s not funny. Well, it is funny. Fucking very funny.

You can find it all at Arrested Westeros. What the fuck are you waiting for?

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That Happened, and We Let it Happen

Did you see Family Guy Sunday?

If you did, you saw this. 

Enough said.
When your kids ask you what the fuck happened to MTV, and why shaking asses and bling are the stars of today’s music videos, explain it to them. Explain that David Bowie and Mick Jagger were once rock gods, and somehow, they would wind up trying to make out (again) in what may rank as the biggest piece of shit to make you wish that the eighties never happened.

Tell them that we tried to save the world with stuff like this.

But that MTV died anyway.

And then explain that because we live in the Fucking future… we now have this.

But let them know that the Fucking Future isn’t all bad. Because it also brought us this.

Okay. There’s some Fucking Internets for you.

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